So last week, the day I posted my last entry, I lost my day job. They brought me in, sat me down, and said "we are eliminating your position." Just. Like. That.
I honestly can't say it was a surprise. I didn't have that much work to do because it wasn't a very busy place, but I had no warning. I wish they had given me a heads up that Friday would be my last day or something. It really just goes to show that most companies do not care about their employees.
Naturally, I feel like maybe there was something more I could have done. Maybe I could have asked for more work somehow. I know that I never fully was settled into what the job was supposed to be. I was the receptionist/cashier/office clerk. Well I never really took payments except to make change and store the money in the drawer at my desk (no credit cards) and then I just gave it to my boss who prepared the bank run. I wasn't in charge of staff directory and my boss never gave me any of her paperwork to help her out. She just did it all herself and stressed through it at times.
Don't get me wrong I loved talking with the office manager/my boss, but since she was there before someone filled that position, she took on tasks that were probably meant for me and didn't know it. Now she will probably be stuck with the filing and sorting mail and the cash drawer.
I was important there often just not all day. I was in charge of answering the phones, taking messages, scheduling appointments, and transferring phone calls. Often there would be no one on the service desk or they were busy (only 2 guys) so I had to take a lot of messages. For awhile it was just me and one guy as one guy was let go to early retirement and the director basically quit. For several weeks it would just be me and him. I never felt apart of the team even then though. He would always tell customers that he's the only one there. I scheduled appointments and did the best I could to help but I wasn't an advisor. Still I was treated as nothing. The advisors and director would get food and not ask if I wanted anything. They didn't feel the need to include me in meetings or even when they were coming and going. I always had to ask.
Wow, I was disrespected there and didn't really notice it. Yeah, most places are probably that way. I never really had a place. I wasn't fully service and I wasn't fully office. I was just there as my own thing. Looking back I can tell they never probably meant to keep me on long term. I wish I had known that. They had gotten a new phone system right after I started which made it somewhat automated. I was no longer the primary person to answer phones. That was kinda nice because I hated the paging system, but basically put a clock on my job.
Overall, I'm grateful for the experience and I know without a doubt that God aligned it for me. I needed that desk job at a time when I was having health issues standing (I will explain in a different post later). It gave me solid experience I needed to land hopefully another receptionist or office job.
I've been handling unemployment okay. I've labelled my new job as stay-at-home dog mom for now. It's stressful of course trying to get unemployment filled out and waiting to hear back about how much I will get and keeping the forms filled out correctly.
I attribute to my overall outlook and demeanor to Jesus though. He has been my Prince of Peace and Comforter through all this. I know he is in this and moving in my life. Why he allowed my last job to be cut off when He did is still a mystery to me, but I know I will get an answer. That day didn't shock Him. He has bigger plans for my life and I know I would have stayed at that job so much longer, but He said I'm not to settle for good when He has great in mind for me.
I completely surrender to Him. I'm at His mercy right now. Pastor Brett said in a sermon I watched recently that you can't turn a parked car. So I'm moving slowly and cautiously. I'm applying to jobs and praying that God make the right one apparent to me even if it takes a couple of months. I'm praying that He turn me in the right direction even if it's not something I would have thought of for me or puts me a little outside my comfort zone.
I know He loves me and cares about what I care about. Whatever lesson He is trying to teach me through this trial, I want to learn it. I want to grow. If He is trying to equip me for something down the line I want to be ready.
Yes, some days can be a little harder because I'm home all day. I get extremely lonely sometimes and sad, but I know this won't be forever.
And, hey, maybe I will never have to go back to work because we'll be rapture before then! Positive thinking!
I pray that God bless you as you go throughout your day!
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